Deeds Wins VA Democrat Primary...McAuliffee Wants a Recount

The results are in folks, and its Deeds by... a ton. Though I caught up with Terry the Tax Man M-dog, and he was having none of it: "I WANT A BLASTED, GOL Dang MOTHER LOVIN' REE-COUNT!!

Thats right, LA TIMES, I AM A MOTHER-LOVIN' FORCE A' DAMN NATURE!!!!

McAuliffee continued his Election Night Pep Rally recount speech on what he called a shot in the arm from the last paper on earth with a "lick' a sense", the "LA TIMES Kick Ass cool paper with a damn smart buncha Riters!!......

"Yer Damn Straight IM A FORCE OF NATURE LOS ANGELES TIMES!!

I AM A DAMN HURRICANE, Freight Train and AERO-Plane all in one horsepower squealin' ROCKET RIDER FULL a' PAIN!!!, and I'm gonna drive it straight up the *** of any a you hound dog golf ball pansy face retards in the media who cant see right from south!!

McAuliffe finished his speech by throwing down the gauntlet to his political nemesis: "Creigh...Creed...crow..,.......Crrawfish-Sandbox Lobster Boy-WHATEVER YOUR DAMN NAME IZ...DEEDS, YOU AINT SEEN THE LAST OF ME, PARTNER!!

As the weary throngs of champagne-soaked Tax-Man supporters were slowly making their way to the exits, McAuliffe finished his speech, took one last swig of Sunny Delight, threw down his microphone and tossed his cuff links to a lucky fan.

The Tax Dog CLinton-fueled job creating hurricane was last seen stumbling off the stage with a half-eaten box of Ritz crackers, mumbling: "...I'm gonna git me some more millins from ma homeboyz at the D triple C and throw down the biggist 2013 Democrat Virginny pRimary campaign kickoff you Southern Types iz ever seeeen!!

YEeEEEEeeEEEEE HhhHAAAaaAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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McAuliffe to Washington Post: "ENDORSE THIS, YA VARMITS!!"

It was a beehive of activity at the McAuliffe campaign offices in Northern Virginia yesterday. Though numerous polls show McAuliffe holding a substantial lead over both opponents in the Democratic gubernatorial primary, the Washington Post sided with an underdog, endorsing VA state senator Creigh Deeds.

My sources managed to catch up with Terry McAuliffe late last night, and the former DNC Chairman was none too pleased, to say the least: "Them rascals over at the Washington Post done knocked me down and stole muh teeth!".

McAuliffe said that while the Post is "stuffed in with a whole lotta squirrel-faced pond-lizards", he'll be "busier then a cat coverin' doo-doo on a marble floor" this next week and wont have time to fume too much about the Wa Po snub.

Though before heading out to "chase down some dinner", McAuliffe had a parting shot for the Post's editorial board: "I reckon thit nex tom them boyz take ma governin' skillz fer granted, I'll slap 'em so hard ther clothes 'll be outta style!...YEEE HAAAAAAA!!"

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McAuliffe to non-Union workers: "Y'eeaa allll aaint gettin' hiirred!!"

Terry the Taxman McAuliffe, seeking the Democrat nomination in the Virginia Governor's race, foretold his employment policies yesterday at the last Democrat primary debate.

Yup, Terry the Taxman laid out his "Taxation without Employment" pledge to the Virginia workforce:

"Enny a yu Non-Union workers out there think yer gettin' highred when I'm governor git another thin' comin'!

But Don't Yu Worry all yuze Non-Union scab-sandin' VARMITS, Yue Mat not be gettin' no job from the likes a' me, but aahll bee taxin' y'allz just the same!"

Not sure what his policy for scabs is gonna be, but my Virginny sources me Taxman's got a solution fer these 2-Timin' Rascals: Make sure all thur' taxes iz paid, then put em' to work recruiting new AFL-CIO recruits in other Right to Work states.

Them ol' "Right to Work" folks in Virginny better watch out! Terry's gonna force ya back in too faster than yee can say W2!!

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Welcome to Terry the Taxman McAuliffe!

HELLO THERE GANG!! I wanna give a big ole shout out to ma'all my happy progrissives out there, waitin to do the patriotic thing and pay therrr fair shure(to Virginians with part-time jobs), just remember this little jingle!!!

...O he'll be comin' round for tax time yes he will!...a whole new set of yocals, to tax at will......(yeee hahh!!!!).yes he's found old Virginny and he'll be takin' every Pinny....oh Terry...heee's writinnnnngggg big faaaat 'Baaaaaama checks........ for yu and meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.......!!

"He'll be comin' for ol' Virginny"
Words and music by Penguin Prose
Bailout Records
copyright 2009 All Rights Reserved

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